Hello, this page is all about me!
Although, as you read through it, you are likely to find that some of my experiences are very similar to your own.
You may be surprised to know that you are not alone in your current state of confusion and trepidation (with a hint perhaps of excitement) about what the future holds in store for you. Many of us (although we don’t like to talk about it much with others), are experiencing “inner promptings” that set up a pining need for clarity on who we are and where we’re going in life.
Relief is at hand.
This website platform provides a place for you to begin to truly know and appreciate your Self. It offers content that clarifies what your life is about and what you should be doing with it. Essentially, your life, anyone’s life, is about awakening to the spiritual drive (intent) you were born with, and what you should be doing, is living purposefully in alignment with it. In doing so, you become consciously connected to the driving force, the vitality, that powers the Oneness of All That Is—Divine Love.
You can also learn about how your purposeful life fits in with the greater scheme of things—that is, how our collective “shift in consciousness” affects you, the individual.
Why do you need to know and appreciate your Self?
Self-appreciation is the key to your spiritual growth, to enlightenment, to humanity’s problems; it is the solution to everything that is considered a problem. (Omni, Omni Reveals the Four Principles of Creation. Payne, John L. . Findhorn Press. p.68.)
So why are you like me?
We are all alike in the sense that we are each on, what the late American mythologist and writer Joseph Campbell called, a “hero’s journey.”
Your hero’s journey is a very real spiritually planned route meant to take you to what many imagine to be a “land of enlightenment” where human desire and suffering are transcended.
Unfortunately, it is extremely difficult to reach this promised land while you are alive.
Desire and suffering may well be surpassed after physical death, but they are conceptions that are intrinsic to how we function while on the physical plane. Desire and suffering are at either end of a continuum that helps define the condition of being human. Desire describes a primary spiritual impulse (linked to the drive of your intent) to create an experience, whereas suffering describes the condition we fall into when our ego-self becomes fearful of following this impulse.
To become enlightened involves being fully present on the Earth plane whilst being fully aware of the non-physical, balancing both worlds equally and accepting both. (Omni, Ibid., p.70.)
The genuine expression of spirituality is to be incorporating ALL of your reality, the physical and the non-physical; in a manner of speaking, it is a viewing of the big picture. (Elias, channeled by Mary Ennis, session #828.)
So your spiritually planned route in life is not meant to take you to a place where you cannot enjoy the condition of being human. Your hero’s journey will though take you along your “Way of Spirit”—a path that leads to a psychological place of contentment and fulfillment. A place where you are confident in exploring your desires, and you acknowledge pain and suffering for what they are – a reminder to you of when you are in need of compassionate help, as you are not (for the moment) on your spiritually desired path.
Suffering is a necessary message to us of when we are off track—when our ego-self is in a state of fear. It is not meant to be a permanent condition. It is a condition that stimulates the natural principle of compassion within us. To show compassion is a natural response to others that are suffering. Compassion is an expression of Divine Love—the vital energy force behind Consciousness (All-That-Is) and all of Its expressions, including you and I.
It is entirely possible to transcend suffering while we are in the physical realm.
How can I transcend my suffering—you might ask?
To begin with, you need to have a reasonable understanding of who you are from the broadest level of your being—this encompasses the physical you (your outer self) and the non-physical, spiritual you (your inner self). This includes an awareness of your life’s intent and purpose—the spiritual why of you being here.
With this knowledge, you are better able to discover the primary influencing factors that lead to any pain or suffering—these are the beliefs you hold that prevent you from fully appreciating yourself.
It is then possible for you to dissipate the energy held behind such beliefs, and go on to energize beliefs that foster self-appreciation. When you are closer to fully appreciating the uniqueness of yourself (your individuality), you can begin to figure out how the uniqueness of you contributes to the evolution of the human race (our individuality as a species)—along with the evolution, learning and expansion of All-That-Is (the Source of individuality).
No big deal then.
The problem for many of us, as my personal journey will demonstrate, is that our ego-self (that part of us that makes the everyday decisions in life) has not seen the spiritually planned route to enlightenment.
The ego-self has no deep understanding of the totality of Self (of which it is only a small part, even though it thinks it is all there is of the Self). It doesn’t believe there is a purpose to life beyond propagating the species, pursuing money, and collecting stuff—and it couldn’t give a tinker’s toss about the expansion of Consciousness.
I know now that the intent and purpose of my life is to teach others what I know using art.
It’s taken me around 25 years for my ego-self to figure this out, cut away the intransigent beliefs that smothered the tracks of this line of intent, tend to the neglected roots of self-appreciation, and begin living my purpose.
Here’s the story on why it took so long for me to wake up. Let’s trust that your own awakening can be speeded up a little!
You often need a personal crisis or two to wake you up to your full potential!
A crisis point in your life is actually a good thing. It forces you to think about change. Why don’t we like crisis points? Because our ego-self, that part of us that does the thinking, hates change.
Up until my early thirties I was a conventional male of the species—heterosexual, sporty, materialistic, fun-loving, sexually motivated… blokey-type bloke. Life had been a relative breeze. Crisis points came and went. I solved them at the time with no conscious knowledge that the event held any deeper meaning for me.
Crisis 1. Aged 10. Theme of crisis: Personal power.
My myopia—thus nerdy spectacle wearing from an early age—led to one brief bout of bullying in primary school. I resolved this myself in the school playground one day by (after first taking off my spectacles) plucking up the courage to sink my miniscule quivering fist into the substantial abdomen of the lead bully, before Usain Bolting for cover.
Virtually the next day, one of the boss bully’s entourage defected—to me!
He wanted me as his leader. I didn’t know anything about leading, but I liked to play football, so we did that a lot instead. In hindsight, my innate military tactical skills may have won him over – strike quickly, and get the hell out of there.
My mom really liked my new friend, giving him some “pocket money” when he visited… which was weirdly generous of her I thought. Maybe she was subconsciously paying him to stay around as my minder.
(Deeper message of Crisis 1: Use the energy of fear to draw from your personal power to end personal suffering.)
Being of above average intelligence, my grades at school hovered around the A/B intersection, which pleased my parents, particularly when I came very top of a class (Geography one year), or won an award for my artwork (a competition run by Cadbury’s, who sent me enough chocolate to make the entire family be sick of it). We recovered though. Isn’t it funny how we can always eat more chocolate.
When eighteen, I eluded college and a higher education for several reasons. Not doing any work in the year prior to final exams might have been one reason. Losing your virginity in that year to a girl who insisted on me losing it over and over again may have been another. Remember, I am male, and therefore cannot multi-task. I either focus my time on studying or focus my time on discovering sex, can’t do both.
Dad suggested I get a job. I got a job, for a bank, as a bank clerk trainee. Dad suggested I think again, he carefully explained to me, “You are not going to work at an effing bank. Find something that you’ll enjoy, something to encourage your artistic abilities. You won’t get paid much to start, but we’ll support you with a continued roof over your head and some chocolate.”
So went my chances of receiving a banker’s bonus.
Crisis 2. Aged 19. Theme of crisis: Occupational direction.
I landed a job with an advertising agency. At the interview, I asked if I would be able to work in the graphic art department. “Sure thing,” they said. “We’ll move you there as soon as we can. For the moment, you’ll start as an Assistant Account Executive.” This sounded quite posh to me. Mum agreed, Dad said something along the lines of “Effing Account Executive,” and left it there.
They didn’t mean it. After six months, I reminded my section boss about my desire to be artfully relocated. After about nine months, I was indeed relocated—I had been fast tracked to a position whereby I would manually write out labels for parcels all day. Not very arty, but my reassignment was due more to the fact that the firm had been taken over than my reminder of promises made. And there was a lot of “reassigning” going on, without too much discussion with the reassigned.
Unbeknownst to me at the time, I was in my first occupational crisis. What I was doing with my life was in no way aligned with my intent and purpose.
Albeit, my nineteen-year-old horny brain was completely happy with the environment I found myself in as I diligently wrote out my labels. I was in a huge office with (this was April 1972) a vast number of young females vying with each other over who could wear the shortest mini-skirt. As a development of my conscientiousness, I privately decided to adopt the role of adjudicator.
Whilst scribbling out my labels, I would pose myself in a subtly slouched position at my desk such that should any of the female fashion fans within a 30-yard radius stoop or reach in the slightest, then I could assign them, in a wonderfully visionary way, to a personal order of merit. Happy days – or so I thought.
(Deeper message of Crisis 2: Change what you’re doing if what you’re doing is soul destroying work, even if environmental elements compensate in some way.)
Crisis 3. Aged 19. Theme of crisis: Lack of money (adding to occupational crisis 2).
Apart from the stimulus afforded by my self-sacrificing adjudication duties in the office, my time was spent tediously. Adding to the mental and physical frustration of my occupation was a financial inconsistency. I was being taking home £13 per week, and spending £15 per week. (My father would make good the discrepancy.) Still living at home also added to my physical frustrations.
It was the financial factor of course that motivated me to make a change. Were you to ask me at the time about my life’s purpose, my ego-self could only offer, “to get more money.” As the crisis built, my inner self presented me with an ad in an evening newspaper:
Trainee croupiers. £19 per week during 6 weeks training. £25 pw at start.
My inner self had sorted the situation out concerning what my ego-self thought was my life’s purpose. In hindsight, my inner self was taking me on a purposeful detour, to learn about the futility of pursuing money as a means to fulfillment.
After circling the casino’s block a couple of times to pick up the courage to ask the Bulgarian bruiser of a bouncer where the interview was, I tuned into the confidence held over from my bullying crisis. “Up the stairs, on the right, son.” He said, in a manner reminiscent of my boyhood minder.
I was astonished at how demanding the interview was. There were three questions to answer:
- Do you have all your fingers intact? (Answer: Yes, and hold up hands for scrutiny.)
- Are you honest? (Answer: Yes I am sir.)
- Doesn’t your academic record over qualify you? (Answer: Won’t that help me when I want to move up from being a croupier? His answer: “Hhhm… maybe.”)
They rang me the next day to tell me I had passed the interview and could start training on the Monday, provided I don’t lose any fingers in the meantime.
End of occupational and financial crises.
(Deeper message of Crisis 3: Your inner self can bring you what your ego-self thinks is the purpose to life—if your inner self thinks a deviation from your true purpose provides a significant learning experience for you. Also, look after your fingers.)
By the time I was 22 years-old, my interviewer’s answer of “maybe” was proven to be prophetic. I was working at the top casino in London, had been promoted to an overseer, had moved out of the parental pile, and was earning exactly three times the national average wage. (I proudly worked this out on a pub beer mat at the time – national average £35 pw, me, £105 pw, three times 35… hey, that’s really cool.)
I had found my fulfilling occupation, a career even, which provided me with a purpose in life (getting lots of money), which in turn would provide for my future. Whatever that might be.
With my financial security established, I could now focus upon the next task designated by my ego-self’s contemporary, “traditional” belief systems that governed my sense of purpose. It was time for me to learn about serious relationships. Time (during your twenties I was told) to go about finding someone to be my life partner, to be the mother of my children.
I had no idea I had a true purpose or what that purpose might be. I wasn’t consciously aware of being on a diversionary path of learning – therefore, no idea of when this diversion would end. I have to say though, that albeit oblivious to any diversionary path of learning, my ego-self was thoroughly enjoying having plenty of money, experimenting with relationships, and then experimenting some more.
Crisis 4. Aged 21–25. Theme of crisis: Intimate relationships.
After a relatively short experimental phase with intimate relationships—getting married on a whim for example, to someone I barely knew (Sorry, Mum)—I succumbed to the traditional belief that we must look seriously for a life partner, and commit to our higher duty – to assist in the propagation of our species. Love would be good if it came into this process, although no one ever explains how you can be sure that love is involved. If you’re a man in your twenties, love of the intimate sexual part of an intimate relationship is sufficient proof… right?
I eventually found someone to fit the serious intimate relationship bill in my late twenties. I was fairly sure that there was more than just sexual love involved. We took our time… well, a couple of years of living together, I got a divorce from my first whimsy, before getting seriously remarried. I remember being slightly miffed at the cost of the do-it-yourself divorce being a whopping £16 at the time – seriously!
Peculiarly, as soon as we were married our intimate relationship began to unravel. Having a child would change things—and it did… for a while. Moving home to be closer to my wife’s family would change things—and it did… for a while. Having another child and moving to a place not quite so close to my wife’s family would change things—and it did too… just for a little while longer. After eight years together working to change things, I finally conceded that we were not best suited as partners. I went to stay with a friend while I tried to take stock of what I was doing with my life.
I realized that a fulfilling relationship is sustained by intimacy.
Intimacy had gradually seeped away over the years. Having plenty of money, the prime directive, had no bearing on the success of the relationship.
(Deeper message of Crisis 4: Accumulating money is not a life purpose that in itself can bring contentment and fulfillment. Money cannot buy intimacy—the binding element of an important relationship.)
Within a few months I managed to find myself in another intimate relationship. My beliefs about what intimate relationships were about had changed. However, what I believed was my primary purpose, the pursuit of money, was about to undergo an exorcism.
My inner self was about to drive home the message about the acquisition of money not being a purposeful pursuit. This ego-driven insidious notion that money will provide you with a lifetime of fulfillment had diverted me long enough from my spiritually driven path of intent – the true provider of a blissful existence. The diversion was about to end.
Crisis 5. Aged 39–40. Theme of crisis: Personal power revisited through financial collapse and the opening to Divine Love.
Problems with money are to do with two key elements affecting a person’s psychological equilibrium. These are, your personal sense of power, and your connection to Divine Love—the vitality by which Consciousness/All-That-Is operates.
When there is lack of money in your life, there is always a lack of self-love and feelings of powerlessness.” (Omni, Omni Reveals the Four Principles of Creation, p.70.)
At the heart of the Love, Personal Power, and Money triangle is self-acceptance and self-appreciation.
When you are in a state of self-appreciation, the triangle will be in balance. (Omni, Ibid.)
The breakdown of my marriage took me into a period of strict financial constraint. This made me feel powerless. I believed that money gave me the freedom to express myself. No money, no self-expression.
Focusing my thoughts on my powerlessness led me into depression.
Depression is the severe discounting of who you are (not worthy of love) and the mistrust of your creational abilities (you don’t believe you are able to change the situation).
A continued focus upon depressive thoughts about my powerlessness exacerbated the financial situation. Time off work for depression inevitably lost me my well-paid job and my company car, and my private health care, and my bonuses… and my… “success status” in Western culture.
(Deeper message of Crisis 5: Pursuing one form of abundance (money) cuts you off from the many forms of abundance available to you. All forms of abundance are provided by an adherence to the natural principles of Gratitude and Appreciation – particularly, Self-appreciation.)
You often need a personal crisis or two to waken you to your full potential!
I had just turned 40 years-of-age. I had no income, but I was in a position (thanks to the generosity of my new partner) to go find out who I was, and what my life was supposed to be about. I had eventually woken up to the fact that I needed to make some changes. At the time, I didn’t realize this was to be changes in my Self—more specifically, changes to my beliefs about my Self and what my life’s true purpose was, if it indeed had one.
To begin with, I needed to become more aware of the totality of who I was, of the futility of living to an ego-manufactured shallow purpose, and that my life has a far deeper meaning and fulfilling purpose.
Following consultations with my father, at 40, I started to become conscious of my hero’s journey.
When I was in my marriage breakdown crisis (crisis 4), my father had introduced me to Seth. Seth was a character that communicated through the author Jane Roberts—providing us with a legacy of wisdom called The Seth Material.
It took a while for me to come to terms with my misgivings on the manner by which this “Material” had come into being. Jane was “channeling” knowledge from an “energy personality essence,” (Seth), “no longer focused in physical form.” Yup… she was basically speaking for a dead guy!
My scientific sensibilities were under siege as I persisted with my occult studies. Eventually, my resistant thought processes gave way to the resonance of my feelings toward the information I was studying. Some part deep within my Self just seemed to step in and say, “You know this to be true.” And if this part of the material that resonates with you is true, then you can place your faith in the truth of the rest of it. Seth was not trying to sell me a new “truth,” a new infallible doctrine or religion to blindly follow; he was simply reporting the facts surrounding the Nature of Personal Reality as undistorted as possible, as seen from his unique perspective beyond the physical realm.
Much of the material I was as yet to understand, but a great deal of its content had such a profound effect upon me that I committed the next twenty years of my life to the examination of Seth’s legacy.
The radical and astonishing concepts pertaining to our psychological makeup contained within Seth’s and other channeled material moved me to return to mainstream education in 1994. I did so in order to complement and perhaps validate my newfound understanding of the nature of our Selves, and what psychological dis-eases get us into periods of depression, low self-esteem and lack of self-appreciation.
Between 1994 and 1998, I gained a BSc in Psychology from London University and an MSc in Occupational and Organisational Psychology from the University of Surrey.
Often referred to as the “extra mature” student (I was a 41-year-old cheese) at university I was in the unusual position of being able to compare and contrast orthodox theories on the nature of the psyche and our psychological structuring with the very unorthodox material produced by metaphysical or channeled sources.
Disappointed by academia’s corporeal approach to an incorporeal subject, but encouraged by my success in resolving my own psychological issues through utilization of metaphysical exercises and practices, I began to seek out accredited alternative practices and treatments directed at psychological well-being. I searched for approaches that would serve as a bridge between the allopathic medical approach and the holistic, integral, “subtle energy” including methods of the metaphysicians.
In 1999, I discovered the now burgeoning discipline of Energy Psychology (EP). EP is a blend of the most efficacious Western psychological interventions with ancient Eastern practices that focus on the electromagnetic energy system of the body – balancing “Qi” energy.
In 2000, I established my own complementary counselling and therapeutic practice named Counselling for your Self, which has an eclectic, integral approach to promoting well-being.
Crisis 6. Aged 53. Theme of crisis: Time to form an intimate relationship with my Self.
On the eve of my 53rd birthday in 2006, I took a bumpy ride in a wailing ambulance to the intensive care unit at Frimley Park Hospital. I had contracted pneumonia, with septicaemia and pleurisy piggybacking on this life-threatening ailment.
After 6 days of a drug-induced coma, I came around on a beach in Bali.
Actually, as my consciousness began to fully return to the here and now, I awoke with a mouth as dry as a cheese and onion crisp on the floor of the Atacama Desert. “Water,” I croaked at the attending nurse. “Yes, alright, just a minute,” came the rather disappointing response. (My partner Judy “dealt” with this person when hearing of her less than truly caring attitude.)
Thankfully, not all the nursing staff in the ICU were quite so jaundiced in their approach. During several weeks in intensive care, I received the wonderfully loving attentions of Carol (to whom I am eternally indebted). She is someone clearly living her nurturing intent through a nursing purpose. Spookily, I later discovered that the nurse attending me at night during my coma went by the name of Angel. I kid you not. Judy became my private nurse, coming in every day during my stay in hospital to nurture my recovery and supply me with recuperative sustenance in the form of fish and chips with brown sauce.
Further weeks of “recovery” on the public ward next to an ancient sergeant major screaming orders to his troops during the night made me realize that hospital wards are hopeless places to recover. I did though have an epiphany as I pondered why I had created this particular crisis for myself.
I simply knew that my inner self was telling me to expand my creative abilities and look to discover my life’s true purpose.
The following year, I trained under Dr. Brian Weiss in Past Life Regression Therapy (PLRT), and returned to my examination of channeled literature. By 2009, my experiences with PLRT, my renewed scrutiny of contemporary metaphysical contributions, and an intimate encounter with Rose (channeled by Joanne Helfrich), led me to discover, quite unequivocally, the intent and purpose of my current lifetime.
This was, in as concise terms as possible – to teach others in an artful* manner the knowledge I had acquired.
(* By “artful,” it’s meant with skill, integrity, and the use of art in explanation – not with cunning dishonesty!)
(Deeper message of Crisis 6: You need to spend quality time “going within” as regularly as you possibly can in order to understand your Self, commune and be guided by your inner self’s greater perspective on why you are here, and fully appreciate the broader spiritual forces that are steering you along your life’s path—your Way of Spirit.)
So… not without some irony (as I couldn’t really follow my purpose until I had the knowledge and experience of a 55 year-old), the real intent of my life is to teach using my artistic abilities. My purpose is to teach the accumulation of my combined studies of metaphysical and conventional literature on the nature of the human psyche to those that want to know more about their Selves and their own intent and purpose.
The experiencing and resolving of my own life crises over some fifty years, along with helping and healing many clients with their lives and issues over the last 15 years, using both orthodox and “mystical” alternative psychological processes, underscores my expertise.
So why are you like me – again?
I stated at the very beginning of this page that as you read through it you’ll find my story, my hero’s journey, is as much about you as it is me. I’m sure on one or two occasions you can at least associate with the problems and crises I have experienced in my life.
The challenges of my life are common to many as we each stumble along on our hero’s journey unaware that there is a more direct route to contentment and fulfillment through the knowing of our intent and purpose.
Your inner self is fully aware of the reasons for your existence on the physical plane at this time. The reasons are to do with your spiritual Self’s (Essence) expansion and evolution through the learning experiences you provide it from your lifetime. Some learning experiences take you along quite lengthy diversions from the direct route. We deem these to be negative experiences, although it is from these experiences that we learn and develop the most.
Life’s issues often relate to money (more to the point, lack of abundance relating to personal power and lack of self-appreciation), and relationships (expressing love for one’s Self and others). This is because the keys to a fulfilling life are to do with loving and appreciating yourself and all other expressions of Consciousness/All-That-Is; and appreciating that abundance is the ability to allow Source energy (Divine Love) to flow through you as much as possible in the expression of who you are.
I have presented internationally on my findings and interpretations of metaphysical knowledge since 2003. In light of my awakened intent and purpose, I took a teaching step forward by developing a series of experiential workshops, first rolled out in the autumn of 2009, specifically designed to bring others a fuller appreciation of their “Self” and their intentional leanings.
In 2010 I became a Principal Instructor for NewWorldView, an organization dedicated to developing educational programs with a truly “integral” principle in mind. I played a crucial role in their online courses entitled “Seth Revealed” through 2011 and 2012 – a foundational in-depth study of the compiled works of Seth and Jane Roberts, designed and presented by Paul Helfrich.
NewWorldView aims to establish an educational platform for those people wishing to find clarity on who they are and why they are here. It also aims to provide a sanctuary for the alleviation of any personal mental anguish or confusion arising from this era of significant change in the collective psyche of humankind (the so-called “shift in consciousness”).
I am a member of The Scientific and Medical Network. My first book, It’s About You! Know Your Self, published by O-Books (2013), is Book I of an eventual trilogy aimed to awaken others to their life’s intent and purpose.
Working with information provided by various channelled guides, Know Your Self explores the breadth of the structure of your Self, from the Identity of your Essence self or soul, to the constantly fearful ego-self that so often stymies the full expression of who you are. Know Your Self is a book that also reveals the true nature of the tools you use to create your reality – your thoughts, beliefs, feelings, and emotions.
In It’s About You: Know Your Self, Chris Johnson peels away the layers that make up our personal identity to reveal a composite that is much more complex and majestic than we commonly believe. This book is a blueprint for discovering what really matters in life, a template for joy and fulfillment. Larry Dossey, MD – Author of One Mind: How Our Individual Mind is Part of a Greater Consciousness and Why It Matters.
So that’s me so far, now what can I do to help you?